Tribute To My Dad
May 21, 2005: A Tribute to My Father (as delivered at his funeral in Chicago)
I remember being in grammar school, approaching my teacher at her desk and, thinking I was being precocious, I made the statement that "time is passing by faster and faster". I think I was about 8 or 9 years old at the time. She laughed and said "wait until you get older".
True enough, we all know, time flies now. From being little kids running around the China Doll restaurant which Dad owned, and which became our playground… to Tang and I both being parents ourselves, and my little sister finishing college and in the workforce now...it seems all that happened in the blink of an eye.
The time between learning about our father's cancer and the time of his death --- has been less than 3 months.
When our father first went in for a triple bypass last September, we had our first scare about our father's life. He was prepared for the worst already. He said he was not afraid. That he was ready to go if he had to. But he got through that fine.
Then, just as he was near full recovery from his surgery, he was diagnosed with cancer in late February. At that time, we were told that he might have 9 months or so to live, if he didn't receive any treatments. So, we thought optimistically, if he did go through radiation and chemotherapy, he might even have years to live.
Our first reaction as his children and as a family was to be sad and scared. Our next phase of dealing with my father's illness was to try to be positive, support him with our love, and encourage him to fight the cancer with his will. The last phase, which came by all too quickly, was to try to make his last days as comfortable as possible.
It was only one week ago Wednesday that I received the call from my brother and sister telling me that the doctor was giving Dad a few days to weeks to live. Optimistically, we believed it would be weeks. I rushed to get on a plane a day-and-a-half later, and I arrived in Chicago with my son last Friday, May 13th. Within less than 2 hours after Tang and I arrived with his son Jeremy and my son Alexandre, we were watching our father take his last breath.
My father lives on with us in his spirit. He lives on in the smile and laugh that he passed onto my brother Tang. He lives on in the knowledge which he passed onto all of us. He lives on in the way he has influenced the lives of so many people in this room. He lives on in his grandsons, for whom he chose Chinese names – Chi Keung and Chi Sing.
As we lay our father to rest, I am grateful for our love, and for the unity of our family -- despite separations geographically and otherwise – I am grateful for the fact that when my father passed his last breath, he was surrounded by his 3 children and two of his grandchildren, in his own house. He was able to hear us, to repeat the names of Alexandre and Jeremy. He was able to hear us tell him we loved him, and to say "I Love You" to us... those were the last words he uttered...
I am grateful for all of Dad's six brothers and sisters being here today, and especially for our Aunt Sau Fong who was by his side 24/7 during the last weeks of his illness – not only helping Dad, but all of us to get through the toughest times. And for our Uncle Kam Wu and Aunt Betsy, who were there for us the night our father passed.
While we can never embrace him in our arms again, he lives on in our hearts.
I remember being in grammar school, approaching my teacher at her desk and, thinking I was being precocious, I made the statement that "time is passing by faster and faster". I think I was about 8 or 9 years old at the time. She laughed and said "wait until you get older".
True enough, we all know, time flies now. From being little kids running around the China Doll restaurant which Dad owned, and which became our playground… to Tang and I both being parents ourselves, and my little sister finishing college and in the workforce now...it seems all that happened in the blink of an eye.
The time between learning about our father's cancer and the time of his death --- has been less than 3 months.
When our father first went in for a triple bypass last September, we had our first scare about our father's life. He was prepared for the worst already. He said he was not afraid. That he was ready to go if he had to. But he got through that fine.
Then, just as he was near full recovery from his surgery, he was diagnosed with cancer in late February. At that time, we were told that he might have 9 months or so to live, if he didn't receive any treatments. So, we thought optimistically, if he did go through radiation and chemotherapy, he might even have years to live.
Our first reaction as his children and as a family was to be sad and scared. Our next phase of dealing with my father's illness was to try to be positive, support him with our love, and encourage him to fight the cancer with his will. The last phase, which came by all too quickly, was to try to make his last days as comfortable as possible.
It was only one week ago Wednesday that I received the call from my brother and sister telling me that the doctor was giving Dad a few days to weeks to live. Optimistically, we believed it would be weeks. I rushed to get on a plane a day-and-a-half later, and I arrived in Chicago with my son last Friday, May 13th. Within less than 2 hours after Tang and I arrived with his son Jeremy and my son Alexandre, we were watching our father take his last breath.
My father lives on with us in his spirit. He lives on in the smile and laugh that he passed onto my brother Tang. He lives on in the knowledge which he passed onto all of us. He lives on in the way he has influenced the lives of so many people in this room. He lives on in his grandsons, for whom he chose Chinese names – Chi Keung and Chi Sing.
As we lay our father to rest, I am grateful for our love, and for the unity of our family -- despite separations geographically and otherwise – I am grateful for the fact that when my father passed his last breath, he was surrounded by his 3 children and two of his grandchildren, in his own house. He was able to hear us, to repeat the names of Alexandre and Jeremy. He was able to hear us tell him we loved him, and to say "I Love You" to us... those were the last words he uttered...
I am grateful for all of Dad's six brothers and sisters being here today, and especially for our Aunt Sau Fong who was by his side 24/7 during the last weeks of his illness – not only helping Dad, but all of us to get through the toughest times. And for our Uncle Kam Wu and Aunt Betsy, who were there for us the night our father passed.
While we can never embrace him in our arms again, he lives on in our hearts.
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